I’m at CodeMash today doing precompiler sessions, and I have to say that it has so far been a great time.
Today I spent most of my session in an “Improving Software Craftsmaship” session where we pair programmed several Katas. In the course of doing this, I found myself paired with a couple of people who were a bit faster to the punch than me on what needed to be done next.
Now, I’m used to this. My coworker Erik can always do basically everything faster than me, and believe me when I say that this doesn’t upset me. Erik is a friend, and I always appreciate his help. This was DIFFERENT though.
See, here at CodeMash, I’m walking around with one of the blue lanyards – I’m a speaker. So, when someone bests me at Katas, I feel like I haven’t lived up to some unsaid expectation. This caused me a bit of a panic attack. I found myself having to walk down the hallway and remind myself of these things:
- I am here to learn as well as talk
- I can practice and get better
- I have my own strengths
This post is admittedly trite, but I wanted to put it out there anyways as a reminder to everyone that, well, we all feel insecure sometimes.
One thought on “Katas and Insecurity”
We all go through this. It even has a name – “Impostor Syndrome”. Scott Hanselman has blogged and podcasted several times about this effect on developers. Check out http://www.hanselman.com/blog/ImAPhonyAreYou.aspx and http://hanselminutes.com/302/being-a-phony-with-jon-skeet. You’ll feel better knowing you’re not alone. 🙂